Avatar came out during an awkward time in my life, as I was transitioning from high school to college. I was having a very difficult time making that transition as smooth as possible, and I failed at it. But the only thing that was getting me through it, was movies. In particular, Avatar, because it provoked something within myself and made me appreciate life a little bit more. The amount of detail that was shown on screen is mesmerizing, truly a wonder to admire. After watching a movie like that, it’s hard not to feel inspired. It has given me this wonderful feeling of hope.      Every Friday morning, at exactly 11:00am when McDonalds was open for lunch, I would buy[…]

     I’ve been alone for the majority of my life (relationship wise), and I actually mean all of my life. It’s what I know how to do best, and I learned to love that part of myself. Being alone doesn’t make me feel different or strange. I learned to enjoy my own company, my own thoughts, and what makes me a person.      I’m proud to be independent but there was a time that I never thought that I would be. It’s scary, to be honest. Going shopping alone, going to the movie theatre alone, eating lunch alone, can seem very daunting and it may even feel like everyone is staring. But taking that first step, will be the hardest, but it[…]

     Sometimes I have days when I’m feeling down. Feeling depressed. Sometimes they last for a day, sometimes weeks, and at the worst, sometimes months. However, I seem to have lost the moments of sadness. I missed those moments because they remind me of a certain time in my life that I enjoyed. Or maybe its about losing someone that I love, and grieving that lost by giving the respect it deserves. Sadness seems to last for so long, that moments no longer seem to exist.      I appreciate sadness, I respect it. It has added a new perspective in life. In my life. In certain ways, I feel grown up and I’m able to change as a person because of it.[…]

     I begin school soon, and I genuinely don’t know how to feel about it. I already know that I’m anxious about it, but the question is why? The more I think about it, it might be because of failure. My history with education hasn’t always been the best. Which is what I’ve always strived for, but realizing now that “the best” is different from “my best”.      I would usually quit something before I even gave it a chance, and when I mean something, I mean everything. It has become a negative energy that surrounds and follows me everywhere I go now. I have nothing to show for my hard work because I never had a hard day at work. Maybe[…]

Lately, I’ve become more and more frustrated. But thats it. Don’t know why. Don’t know the root cause of this sudden change of mood. Although I’ve been doing many activities that will help change my mood, and they have been working, but I always need to know the starting point of the frustration. Maybe my mood is not actually frustration, it could possibly be something else. I am starting school again in two weeks. I’m scared to go to school, it brings a lot of bad memories, and possibly I’m connecting the memories to the new school. Or I could be very paranoid about my anxiety, therefore making it worse than it actually is. I’m not sure. But what I’m[…]

     Usually when I see or read an exceptional quote, I write it down. But I never look at it again. There is a distinct feeling when I have an emotional connection with an affirmation or quote. It’s hard to describe, other than it’s like I wanted to say those things, but don’t have the vocabulary or articulation to write it on paper. I’ve always struggled with connecting my true emotions and vocalizing it into realization, but instead I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions and covering it up with a nonsensical reaction. By reading what other people write, I’m able to uncover these emotions that I’ve been neglecting.      One of my favourite quotes that I can’t seem to forget:[…]

     I spend much of my time listening to new songs, skipping through the beginning 30 seconds because I know pretty much instantly that I will love a song. But the questions becomes why do I like this particular song so much, and why do I only listen to the song several times over. It’s something that I have done for as long as I can remember, even when I bought albums as a teenager, I would skip all the songs to the favourite one and just repeat. What makes the song repeatable? What does the brain do during this process? Does it have any connections to our environment? These are questions that I would like answered.      Simply, (but it’s not[…]

When it rains, I always feel nostalgic. I like to take the time to remember certain parts of my past and try to replicate those days, but it never works that way. Anything that happened in my past, is there for a reason. Trying to duplicate it tends to make things worse and then I start to feel like I’m stuck in a strange place that I can’t get out of. Why would I want to be stuck in my past, when I have the best looking ahead. These are the things that I do on rainy days. They are simple things, but they are very effective. Reading provides one of the best escapes from the past. Reading allows me[…]

  Star Wars hasn’t been in my life for very long, 6 years, maybe that does seem long but when comparing to other fans, it is relatively short. Then, when comparing to the amount of time between 1977 until now, six years is very short. However, that doesn’t change the amount adoration that I have for this particular universe. My first memory of Star Wars was when I was 10 or 11 years old, and Return of the Jedi was playing on a television network as a promotional tool for The Phantom Menace premiere, later on that year. Which I assume is now more common than ever. I remember eating chocolate ice cream at my grandmothers house when Return of the[…]

Today I went to Bronte Creek in Oakville, Ontario. It was a very pleasant reminder of my childhood, but it also reminded me of my future. I have many fond memories of this place as a kid, especially with all the food. Food is the main focus at all our family events, which makes sense because of my size but I’ve learned better. However, even though it was a short visit, this trip was another hint at future possibilities. This will be known as the day that I started (officially) started my blog. Yeah, sure, it was a little odd taking pictures of a book first, then reading it. Documenting all of my day seems redundant but somehow important. But[…]