It’s 10:40pm as I’m writing this, and my anxiety and nervousness is beginning to grow. I constantly remind myself that it’s going to be okay even though I don’t know that for sure. School begins tomorrow, but it feels more like the beginning of a new chapter in my life. This is something that I want to do but it’s also something that I need to do. I haven’t been successful in the past with completing my educational career, but I have no doubts that that will change now. But why the nervousness?
To keep my mind at ease, I have been watching Friends all weekend. All weekend. I took a break from watching it, to write this blog post. I felt the need to write what I’m feeling at this particular moment and evaluate the reasons for the intense nervousness. The more I think about it, the more I realize that judgement is the main culprit. I feel like I will be judged and then I will be disliked by my classmates. Therefore, leading to a bad semester, then a bad year, then a bad college experience. Oh and I guess overthinking and overanalyzing every situation is also another reason why I’m nervous.
Reminder: It’s just a classroom. It can’t hurt me, it can’t judge me for wanting to make a change in my life. It’s just a professor. They can’t hurt me, they are there to help and guide me in the right direction. It’s just students. They can’t hurt me, they are there to experience and learn the same things that I am. It’s just life. It can’t hurt me, it suppose to be lived and do it by being happy. I must remind myself that I am happy too.