Day twelve of the be kind to yourself challenge offers a new set of obstacles that I wasn’t even fully aware of yet. Today’s task was to spend the day with wholeheartedness, which can be an odd concept to grasp. I’ve spent today facing certain realities that I knew I should have been more prepared for.
I have a tendency to exit my front door with someone by my side. Interacting with other people in certain social situations causes me great discomfort (more about that another day). I heavily rely on other people to accompany me to ease any social interactions. Today, was the first time I had to go at it alone. Although, I wasn’t alone, to be honest. I imagined myself in the company of good people that I trust. Even though I was scared, I felt comforted by the fact that I could do it if I needed to. Furthermore, I know I could do it again.
Living wholeheartedly means to me, the abundance of my life is being appreciated in all aspects. Having the ability to change a negative outlook into a positive one, having the gratitude to respect that change. There’s so much fear attached to the word ‘change’ and I’ve begun to realize how much fear has taken from me. I’ve lost but I never had the courage to accept that loss and allow change to flourish. The paralyzation of fear is debilitating to progress but the acceptance of fear can be freeing. I don’t doubt that I will continue to face many fears, maybe some fears that I didn’t know that I had. But I know now, that it’s okay to let a little in.
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