I can be cruel, I can be mean, and I can be cold hearted. I say mean things to myself all day long and I can’t bear the noise anymore. I know I wouldn’t talk to someone else the way I talk to myself, but yet I treat myself so poorly. So, I needed to start the Be Kind To Yourself challenge for the next 30 days.
Part of the reason I needed to do this challenge, is because I’m making a decision that could potentially disrupt people’s lives in an uncomfortable way. I need to be prepared mentally, emotionally and psychologically. The best way I know how to do this is to break it down into small tasks throughout a period of time. My hopes are that I can continue doing this without needing the challenge to motivate me to improve my self-worth and self-image.
So let’s start off with something that was supposed to be relatively easy; looking at yourself in the mirror and out loud, repeat the words “I am worthy and I am deserving.” It’s imperative to repeat the affirmations out loud to reassure yourself that your voice has a presence.
When it came time to do the exercise, I found myself incredibly nervous. I shut all my blinds in my bedroom, making sure no one from the outside can see looking in. I checked around the house to ensure that no one else was home. I was seeking complete silence and privacy. But when the time came to look at myself in the mirror, only whispers came out. I was experiencing something quite different than I had before. It was like an out of body experience. I grew scared and I was ready to give up.
I was backing away, but then I realized that I can’t keep doing this to myself. I deserve better. So I looked at myself with confidence, and the words came out. I stood there, proud of myself for accomplishing such a minuscule task but it meant a lot more to me than I can describe. I assure myself that I can do this, therefore, I know you can do this too. You deserve this. You are worthy.
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