I can’t begin to describe the feeling that I’m experiencing right now. Just yesterday I was okay, just yesterday. All of a sudden I felt lost, and now I’m wandering. I begin to explore my curiosity even though I know failure is the only end point. The word failure looms ever so slightly above my head, waiting to glide through my neck to expose my weakness to the world. It’s fear, by the way.
I’m familiar with failure, it has always been with me. So why is it different this time? Hopefully, I discover the truth because, in all honesty, I’m scared. I’m petrified that the future is empty, or more specifically, my future. I wish there was a way for me to escape…free myself from the bonds that I place on own hands and break the chain of the pattern.
There’s so much more that I want to write, but I’m exhausted from over-thinking and my brain’s over stimulated from delusions, and the experiences of the fight or flight response are daunting. But one that I can’t avoid.