I sit here, waiting. Waiting is a big thing for me. I envelope myself in waiting, as much as time will allow me to. So, I sit here. Waiting. Patiently and sometimes not.

You are the reason that I become lost. You are the reason that I lose myself. I know that you’re not good for me and that I deserve better. But I can’t help myself. I need you. I need you to stop coming closer to me and destroying the parts of myself that I actually like.

I expect something new every time, but yet not surprised by the similarities. I see it in everyone now. Sometimes I can recognize that I need a break, but there are other times when I fail miserably. It’s the recognition that is causing the pain. I can see but no longer feel. The hurt that you have caused made me worthless.

Did you get what you wanted?

Sit with me, be with me, be still with me.

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