I slowly begin to see the wave. At first, it seems so far away, I felt safe. But time is an illusion, an illusion that I can’t seem to understand fully.

The wave is now at my neck, and I’ve begun to tread the inescapable water. All of my thoughts slowly fade from the deafening sound of my heart beating. I realize that this is my body’s way of telling me to fight. It’s not long before I lose the fight that’s in me. I will slowly give up and allow the water to suffocate me. I allow it.

Emptiness then settles in. It sits beside me and invites itself into my thoughts. It’s now a comfort. Knowing that emptiness will always be there for me, I can rely on something with full trust. That’s why it’s my friend. The trust that we have built is stronger than many of the other emotions that I don’t feel. Emptiness is my security blanket, as it wraps itself around me and slowly invades my anxiety.

It’s reliable, as it’s also unforgiving.

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